CHAPTER 4b: Before the Concert

CHAPTER 4b: Before the Concert

The whole family left the house and entered their cars. Jeremy took out his car keys and pressed the “unlock” button. “Hey, Kelly!” Kelly turned around. He tossed the keys over to her, and as the keys were in mid-air, he yelled, “catch!” Knowing his clumsy wife, he knew she wasn’t going to catch the keys. He laughed to himself. The keys landed on Kelly’s fingertips and she gave a confident smile. Then the keys slipped and fell to the ground. She stood there with a disappointed face as her husband exploded in laughter. “Bravo, Kelly!” he clapped, “Very good!” Kelly bent down to grab the keys and headed for the driver’s door. “No, Kelly!” Jeremy ran up to her, “I am not letting a klutz drive my car! If you had caught that, I would’ve let you. But no. Go, move. Give me my keys!” he laughed. “Aish!” Kelly hissed.

On the other side of the driveway was the Aston Martin. Without any problems, Tammy got in the driver’s seat and Steven in the passenger seat. Because they’re the ahjumma and ahjussi of the family, they knew a driveway was no place for immaturity.

Queenie quietly hopped on her Kawasaki motorcycle and was about to put her helmet on when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

It was Luis. “Hey, Queenie. Um…  my car is in the body shop because I had to replace some things…”
“So you need a ride?” Queenie asked him.
“Yeah… if that’s not a problem—”
“Well—”
“Hey! I need a ride too!” Derek ran up to the two with his arms flailing. “Luis was my ride, but now we’re rideless!” He gave Queenie a huge smile.
“Ugh, but I only have one seat. I don’t know—”
“I need a ride too!” Amir also ran up to them.
“Oh my gosh. Why are you all asking me?! I’m not the only one with a vehicle, you know!” Queenie began to start sounding irritated.
“Because motorcycles are cool!” Derek exclaimed, quickly throwing up two thumbs up.
“Yeah! They’re awesome! O-S-M AWESOME!” Amir agreed.
“EWW! DO NOT SPELL IT LIKE THAT! No. You know what? No. I’d rather ride alone. Besides, I only have one helmet! Go ask the others!” Queenie put her helmet on and started up her bike.

Amir, Luis, and Derek all left to go ask Jeremy and Tammy for rides. The Aston Martin was only a two-seater, so there was no chance for any of the three to get in. They all had to ride with Jeremy and Kelly. “Okay! There better not be any more people! Poor tiny Derek is already squished!” Queenie laughed to herself when she heard her father say that. She could only imagine what her younger brother looked like in the middle between two larger guys in a small car.

Finally, they all left the driveway and headed to the SNSD concert.

* * *

They all entered the venue’s parking lot, and the queue line was already ridiculously long. The concert wasn’t even going to start for another two hours or so. “Damn, we should’ve come earlier, huh?” Jeremy asked everyone in his car. They all nodded. Queenie turned the engine off on her motorcycle to preserve gas. She looked at a large sign in front of her. “Parking: $50” was what it said on the sign. “OH MY GOD! ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?!” Queenie spazzed so loud that she fogged up the helmet’s visor. She got off of her bike and pulled the stand down. She took her helmet off and walked over to her father’s car. She tapped on his window. “Appa, did you see that sign?! $50 FOR FREAKING PARKING!” Jeremy looked over at the sign and acted like it was nothing. “How much money do you have on you?” he asked her. “None.” she replied. Jeremy took out his wallet and grabbed two $50 bills and handed them to Queenie. “Here. Take one and give one to your halmoni.”

Queenie thanked her father and walked over to her halmoni’s car to hand her the $50 bill. Then she sat back down on her motorcycle. “Man, there’s still two hours before the concert starts! Why is everyone already here! Gosh, I’ll bet SNSD aren’t even here yet. Ugh.” Queenie thought to herself. The more she thought, the more impatient she grew. Finally, it was their turn.

Jeremy was in front of the line. He quickly handed the worker his $50 bill and drove into the parking lot. Next was Tammy. She did the same thing. Then it was Queenie. She still hadn’t started the engine up, so she just used her legs and kicked her way up to the booth. Irritated, she asked the worker, “Why is parking $50?! Are you people insane?!” The worker shrugged and asked for the money. Before Queenie could hand the worker her money, she heard her phone’s SMS tone go off. “You, wait. You had me wait. Now you wait for me.” Queenie told the worker as she checked the message on her phone. Her text read, “Queenie, I see you’re at the booth. Tell the worker “naengmyun”. She’ll understand. ENJOY~ <3” She was in too much of a hurry to read who that was sent from, but she did as the text told her to do. “Naengmyun” she blurted. The worker looked at her angrily and then responded, “Oh. Okay. You can go. You don’t need to pay.” And she flashed a fake smile to Queenie. “What?” Queenie was confused, but she did as the worker told her. “Whatever. I get to save $50. Thanks, ahjumma.” And she turned her motorcycle’s engine on and sped up to catch up with the rest of the family.

All three vehicles were parked and the whole family got out of the vehicles. “Queenie, what took you so long?” Jeremy asked. “Uh. I saved myself $50,” she grinned and pulled her phone out of her pocket. She saw that it was Tiffany who texted her. “Tiffany just helped me save $50!” Jeremy made a “give it back” gesture with his hand. Queenie quickly stuffed the money in her pocket and smirked.
“Hey, what are we going to do for the next two hours?” Luis asked.
Before anyone could answer him, Tiffany came running towards the family. “Hey, Queenie!”
“Oh, Tiffany! Hi! Thanks for the uhh… ‘naengmyun’!” Queenie smiled.
“No problem! Hey, so the show doesn’t start for a few hours; what are you doing now?”
Queenie turned and looked at everyone and they all shrugged.
“Ya, Tiffany! We have to go!” a voice yelled from afar. It was SooYoung. “PD-nim said we have to go in!”
“Ugh, sorry, guys! I have to go!” Tiffany hugged Queenie, “Oh, I forgot. PDs told us no VIP backstage privileges anymore! I’m so sorry!” She gave Queenie a 90-degree bow and ran off to meet up with her members.
“NOOOOO! DAMMIT, SM!” Queenie yelled with her fists clenched.

Suddenly, an old Volvo approached the family. As the driver of the Volvo tried to get into a parking space, the driver accidentally scratched Jeremy’s Mercedes Benz.
“OH. HELL. NO!” Jeremy tried to control himself. “WHO IN THE FU—”
The driver of the Volvo stepped out of the car to check the damage.
“MAE?! EFFING MAE?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” Jeremy lividly screamed.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry, Jeremy!” Mae, Luis and Derek’s next door neighbor, rubbed the scratch on the car.
“Who gave Mae a license?!” Kelly asked, laughing at Mae.
“AND WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT, HUH? THIS DAMAGE IS FUNNY TO YOU?!” Jeremy snapped at his wife.
“DON’T YELL AT OMMA LIKE THAT!” Queenie snapped at Jeremy.
At this point, everyone in the family started yelling at each other to stop yelling at each other.
Someone blew a whistle loudly. Everyone stopped and looked around.
It was a cop. “Excuse me, but I’m going to have to have you all removed for disturbing the peace. Please exit the parking lot.”
“WHAT?! WHAT PEACE?! WE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!” Queenie snapped at the officer.
“Excuse me, ma’am, but you’re all being way too loud. Please exit.”
“BUT THE CONCERT—”
“I’m sorry, ma’am. You will be banned from the concert and you won’t get refunds. Now please, exit.”
“BANNED MY ASS!” Queenie suddenly punched the cop in his stomach, making him bend forward, and she punched him in the face numerous times. The cop fell back. “I NEED TO SEE MY TIFFANY!”

Queenie suddenly fled the scene and headed inside the building. Everyone looked at each other and quickly fled the scene as well, following Queenie.

Once inside the building, Queenie ran into the first restroom she could find and hid inside a stall. As she was catching her breath, her phone began to ring. “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s Tiffany. Are you still outside?”
“No, I’m in the bathroom.”
“Why are you so out of breath?”
“You don’t want to know… I… I think I’m…”
“Yeah? You’re what?”
“I think… I’m… wanted.”
“‘Wanted’? Meaning?”
“I… punched a cop. I think he’s still lying on the ground outside. He… tried to kick us out—”
“Whoa, whoa, wait, what?! Are you serious?!”
“Yeah.. I… I don’t know what to do.”
“Queenie, why did you—”
Queenie suddenly heard the restroom door burst open.
“HEY, ANYONE IN HERE?! Hey, excuse me, Miss, have you seen this girl? Short, tanned, and violent?” a deep, husky female voice said to someone near the restroom sinks.
“Umm, I think she went in one of these stalls,” another voice spoke out.
“OH SHIT!” Queenie whispered.
“Queenie? Are you okay?” Tiffany asked on the other end of the line.
Queenie immediately opened the restroom stall and ran through the crowd of females waiting in line. She noticed a large woman in a cop uniform and made sure the cop wasn’t going to get her.
“HEY! HEY! GET BACK HERE!” the cop with the deep, husky voice screamed.

As Queenie exit the restroom and ran into the large main hall, the rest of the family was there. They saw Queenie and a cop on a chase. They noticed another cop chasing after them. Amir and Mae ran up to grab Queenie. As they both grabbed her arm, Amir and Mae suddenly fell down onto the floor.
“OH SHIT! WRONG TARGET! DAMMIT! Call for backup! We need backup!” The husky-voiced cop told the other cop. Without looking back at her butler and neighbor, Queenie kept on running. The cops chased after her.

The whole family ran over to Amir and Mae to see if they were okay. Amir was able to get up okay, but Mae was still lying on the floor, in pain.
“Well that’s what you get for scratching up my car.” Jeremy nonchalantly said.
Kelly socked Jeremy in the gut. “OOF! Ugh, dammit!” He helped Mae up. “Are you okay?”
Mae rubbed her face and shook her head. “I.. think.. so. Oh man, that hurt. But that was so awesome! Hahaha! UGH!” Laughing hurt her too much.
“Ugh… these staff members… they’re pretty harsh for no reason,” Amir said, “there was no reason to have us kicked out and banned… is that even legal? Is what Queenie doing even legal?”
“HELL YES IT IS!” Tammy cheered, “Dude, this is like a live action movie— with my granddaughter starring in it!”

Suddenly, they all heard an engine revving. They all turned to the front door of the building.
Before they knew it, they saw a motorcycle crashing through the glass doors. Their jaws dropped when they noticed it was Queenie with someone behind her. She skidded to a stop, right in front of her family.
“WHERE ARE THE COPS?! I’m going to run them over! DAMN WHORES!”
It was Tiffany. Tiffany was sitting on the motorcycle, holding onto Queenie for dear life. She was scared, but she knew Queenie enough to trust her, surprisingly.
“I grabbed Tiffany and pulled her on here and I am going to escape this place with her so they can’t go on with the concert! Tiffany shouldn’t be here in such a place with stupid people anyway!”
Tammy and Kelly both slowly pointed behind Queenie. Outside the front entrance were five cop cars.
“OH SHIT! GOTTA GO!” As Queenie was about to speed away, she heard a gunshot fire. Then another. And a third one. She quickly hopped off the motorcycle and hugged Tiffany. Tiffany was wondering why she was being hugged in such a dangerous and scary situation. She immediately found out why.

Queenie fell backwards. “QUEENIE!” everyone shouted. “QUEENIE! QUEENIE!” Amir rolled Queenie’s body over and they all saw ten bullet holes in her back. Tiffany immediately started bawling her eyes out. “OH MY GOD, SHE SAVED MY LIFE?! WHY, QUEENIE, WHY! QUEENIE! QUEENIE! QUEENIE! QUEENIE! GET UP! WAKE UP! PLEASE, WAKE UP!”

“WAKE UP! WAKE UP, QUEENIE!”
Queenie slowly opened up her eyes. Everything was blurry.
“Queenie! Oh my god! You’re awake!” “Finally!” everyone was screaming in her ear.
“…Whaaa…? What’s going on?” Queenie asked, rubbing her eyes.
“Dude, the show’s about to start!” Luis exclaimed, “Hurry up!”
Queenie immediately shot up. “What? Huh?” She looked around. She looked down at her shirt. “Oh my gosh. Ohmygosh!”

She realized she fell asleep for two hours.

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Notes:
So I started this weeks ago… and I finally got around to finishing it tonight.
And it ended the way it did because I couldn’t remember where I was headed towards with the chapter where I left off… LOL.
Ugh. And I initially wanted this chapter to be DURING the concert… but my mind decided to come up with other things and well.. there was just no room for the story to take place at the concert.
I guess it’ll be next chapter… whenever that will be. :D CHEERS!

CHAPTER 4a: Reunion

It’s the day of yet another SNSD concert. Tammy and Steven bought tickets to the concert to celebrate their anniversary. Jeremy bought tickets for both himself and Kelly to make up for the Siwon poster incident. Queenie didn’t have to buy a ticket; her best friend, Tiffany, gave her a ticket and of course an all-exclusive VIP backstage pass. Queenie told her butler, Amir, to buy tickets to the concert for himself and Jara, the dog, so they can have some butler-dog family bonding time together. Amir and Jara were totally against this idea, but they didn’t want to disrespect their master.  But then Jara found out that dogs weren’t allowed at the concert, so Amir was excited he’d get to go by himself. The whole family is excited for the concert, especially when they all found out that the whole family was going to attend.

“Derek! Wake up! Today’s the concert!” Luis shouted from the other room. He walked over to Derek’s room and violently shook him. “WAKE UP!” Luis learned this trick from his mother, Kelly. Kelly would always violently shake Jeremy to wake him up, even though he’s a fairly light sleeper. Derek, on the other hand, is a heavy sleeper. Luis and Derek are both brothers, sons of Kelly and Jeremy. Their personalities are very different from each other and their parents’. Luis violently shook Derek once more. He opened his eyes, looked at the time, and got up.

Derek rubbed his eyes. “I kind of don’t feel like going to the concert, Luis…” He sat down at the kitchen table and twiddled his thumbs. “Are you going to eat breakfast, Derek?” Luis asked. A faint “No…” came out of Derek’s mouth as he got up, walked back into his bedroom, and shut the door. “Derek?”

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Luis looked out the window and noticed a few vehicles in his driveway: A black Mercedes Benz, a silver Aston Martin, and a Kawasaki motorcycle. Luis knew who those belonged to. He opened the door and was greeted by the rest of his family.
Jeremy and Kelly, the owners of the Black Benz, entered first. “Umma! Appa! How’ve you two been?!” Luis exclaimed. “Couldn’t be any better!” Jeremy happily responded, kissing his wife on the cheek. Pushing her husband away, Kelly replies with, “Ehh. Fine.”
“Halmoni! Halaboji! Long time no see!” Luis hugged his grandparents, Steven and Tammy. They may be the eldest in the family, but they still ride in style with their silver Aston Martin.
“QUEENIE! Oh my god, I haven’t seen you in forever!” Luis hugged his sister. Queenie slightly shoved her brother away. “You didn’t cook anything, right?” she asked. Queenie is still disgusted by her brother’s fail cooking after he offered her burnt breakfast. “Cereal…?” he responded, pointing to the box of Corn Flakes on the counter. Queenie scoffed and walked over to the living room to find a seat. “You probably burnt that, too.” she thought to herself.

Everyone was sitting in the living room, chatting up a storm with each other. Luis announced that he was going to fetch his brother Derek from his bedroom. He opened the bedroom door. “Derek, the whole family’s here.” “I don’t care… leave me alone.” Derek quietly responded. He was lying down on his bed, drawing something in the air with his finger.
“But the concert—”
“I don’t feel like going.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t.”
“You would really rather stay cooped up in this house than go see nine beautiful women?!”
“…” There was silence from Derek. Derek knew he wanted to go. He just doesn’t know why he feels like he’d rather stay at home. He knows he’s anti-social, but is he really emo, like what the rest of the family says?

Luis gave up and walked back out to the living room. He scouted out the room and noticed something was missing. “Where’s Amir and Jara?”
“Amir and Jara left the house before I did. I have no idea where they went.” Queenie told him while her eyes were fixated on the screen of her cell phone.

Then the doorbell rang again. Luis opens the door and Amir runs inside of the house without saying anything. “Amir!” everyone exclaimed.

Everyone noticed there was something wrong with Amir. There was blood all over his hands and clothes. Everyone panicked and exclaimed, “WHAT HAPPENED?!” simultaneously.
Amir looked at his hands and stuttered, “I’m okay… but… J-Jara. I-I… W-We f-f-fought. I don’t— I can’t even—” He started to tear up.
Queenie got up and walked up to Amir. “You. Didn’t. Kill—”
“No!! No! I didn’t— Jara— she’s— she’s okay.”
“But the blood—”
“It’s… a combination of both Jara and my blood… we fought. She bit me. I kicked her. She scratched me, I punched her. … It was ugly.”
“But you’re both okay?!”
“More or less.” Amir squeezed his right arm and flinched. “We were fighting over y— about how dogs aren’t allowed at the concert.”
Queenie doesn’t love Jara the way Jara loves her, but that doesn’t mean Queenie doesn’t love Jara as a pet. She would be devastated if anything happened to Jara.

Everyone was relieved to know that no one was severely injured during the fight, and they all waited for Amir to borrow some of Luis’ clothes and showered off the blood. Everyone was starting to grow extremely impatient; they wanted to go to the concert now.

Steven was on the Internet on his phone. He kept smiling to himself. No one knows what he was looking at, but at one point, he murmured “Yuri” and smiled. Tammy was also on her phone. She was browsing forums for Rated R fanfics, as always. Even as an ahjumma, she knew how to work the Internet on the phone. Just like her husband, she was also smiling at her cell phone screen. The atmosphere around them in the living room was loud, but it wasn’t going to stop them from browsing.

On the other end of the couch, there was Kelly and Jeremy. Usually they would yell at each other and physically hurt each other. Actually, it was Kelly doing the verbal and physical damage. Jeremy just… took it. However, because they were in the presence of their children and parents, Kelly had to refrain from hurting Jeremy. Jeremy kept teasing his wife that she couldn’t do anything to him, and it made  her angry. Jeremy quickly grabbed Kelly’s head and went in for a French kiss. Because she couldn’t shove him away, instead of sucking on his tongue, she bit it. Hard. Real hard. Jeremy let go of Kelly and touched his tongue. He noticed a red substance on his finger. He tried to yell at her, but realized he was slurring his words.

Queenie was on Luis’ laptop. She’s always busy blogging about her life and family. She’s a Twitter fanatic and her Tumblr was the only place she could go to to express herself. She couldn’t tell anyone about her life; they just wouldn’t understand. But Queenie knew her Tumblr followers could relate. Why else would they follow? There had to be more people out there in the world besides Queenie who are a part of dysfunctional families. Queenie was currently on Tumblr, blogging about her day so far and how she’s really excited for the concert.

Amir got out of the shower and was all ready to go. Before they were about to head to the concert, Derek came out of his room.
“DEREK!” everyone screamed. “Where have you been?! How are you?!”
“Hi…” Derek quietly waved to his family. “So… I’ll go to the concert…”
“Yay! That’s great! Here’s your ticket!” Luis exclaimed, handing his brother a concert ticket.
Queenie looked at Derek. “So… are you not emo anymore?” she smiled.
“… Ummm…” Derek shrugged. He extended his arm to reach the concert ticket from Luis’ hand. As he reached over, everyone noticed the cut marks on his wrist.
_______________________________________
NOTES:
- This is part 1 of 2.
- Why the hell was this so damn long?! LOL.
- Part 2 will be at the concert and stuff. fdfheklhfkeh. YEAH.
- I STILL FAIL.

CHAPTER 3: Sir Dog A Meanie

“Jara! Oh Jara! Come inside for dinner!” the butler, Amir, yelled out the front door. He sees Jara, the family dog, running towards the front door, so he quickly closes the door. He hears knocking on the door, but he walks away. Jara pokes her head into the doggy door. “HEY! What kind of butler are you?! You’re supposed to open the door for me! Hey, don’t you walk away, you butler!” Amir turns around and nonchalantly replied, “That’s what the doggy door is there for.” There were loud knocks on the door and they wouldn’t stop.

Amir walks over to the front door and opens it. Jara rushes inside. She sticks her finger out and pokes Amir every time she said a word. “You. Are. Supposed. To. Open. The. Door. For. Me!” Amir tries to escape, but Jara growls, frightening him.

Suddenly Queenie walks into the hallway they were in. “What’s going on?”
Jara runs over to Queenie. “Queenie! Your butler treats me like a dog!”
Amir quickly interrupts, “But Jara, you are the family dog!”
Jara frowns and looks at Queenie with her puppy eyes.
Queenie hugs Jara. “It’s okay, Jara. I’m here for you!” Queenie then looks at her butler. “Amir, don’t treat our family dog like a dog!”
“But Master Queenie—!”
“No buts, Amir! Don’t treat our dog like a dog!”
“What is she, HUMAN?!”
Jara continues to look at Queenie with her puppy eyes.
Queenie replies, “Yes, you know what, Jara is human! If she can speak English, she is human! No matter what! Love her like a human, will you?! Come on, Jara, let’s go eat dinner!” She grabs Jara’s hand and the two go off into the dining room. Jara looks back at Amir and sticks her tongue out at him.
Amir quietly nods and replies, “Yes, Master.”

In the dining room, Queenie tells Amir to seat Jara. Amir looks over at the doggy food bowl. “Jara, dear, please eat your food.” Both Queenie and Jara quickly shoot looks at each other and then their butler. Queenie demands, “Butler, I want Jara sitting next to me. Eating the food I’m eating.” “Yes, I would love that so much!” Jara squealed.
Amir rushes to let Jara be seated next to Queenie. He only did this because he is secretly in love with his Master Queenie, and he didn’t want her getting mad at him.
Amir isn’t the only one that loves Queenie. In fact, Jara, the family dog, loves Queenie just as much. Jara and Amir are the only ones who know about each other’s love interests, and that’s why they can’t stand each other.

Suddenly, the doorbell rings. Amir heads over to the front door. “Yeah, go fetch that, buddy!” Jara yelled.

Amir opens the front door. A beautiful, milk-skinned girl stands before him. “G’evening, ma’am,” Amir bows, “how may I help you?” “Oh, Queenie invited me here for dinner!” The bubbly girl responded. “Ah, come right in then!” Amir motioned the girl inside. Just as she steps inside the house, a fly flies in and out. Without hesitation or another step into the house, the bubbly girl freezes and screams, “BULEBULEBULEBULEBULEBULE!” She then claps. Amir thought the girl was crazy.
“Ahh! Tiffany!” Queenie walks into the hallway. “I heard the bug rap and knew it was you! Come! Dinner was just about to start!” They all head to the dining room.

Queenie sits back down in her chair and notices that something was wrong. “Jara, can you please eat on the other end of the table? I’d like for Tiffany to sit next to me.” “But, but—” Jara was disappointed. She could’ve sat and eaten dinner with her love interest, but no. This Tiffany girl had to ruin it. Jara growled at Tiffany and walked to the other end of the table. Tiffany sat down in Jara’s seat.
“So I’m totally excited for the concert!” Tiffany exclaimed. “You’ll be there, right, Queenie?!”
“Yes! You know I’ll be there— front row, here I come! Cannot wait!”
“Great! If I over-wink and over-eye smile, I’ll have you to blame!” she giggled.
The dinner conversation kept going back and forth and Jara wanted to vomit at how close the two girls are. If Tiffany likes Queenie, she’ll punch Tiffany. If Queenie likes Tiffany, she’ll still punch Tiffany. Jara wants Queenie for herself, although she does think Tiffany is a gorgeous girl. But this was something she’d never want to admit to the family. Amir noticed Tiffany and Queenie conversing during dinner as well. He also felt extremely jealous that he wasn’t in Tiffany’s shoes right now. He wished he could throw Tiffany out of the house and just sweep his Master off of her feet.

Finally, Tiffany decides that it’s time to go home. Queenie walks her out to the front door. “Tiffany, it was great to have you over for dinner tonight!”
“My pleasure! We should do it again sometime soon!”
“Of course!”
Jara and Amir, both eavesdropping, rolled their eyes.
Before Queenie could let Tiffany go, she thought she had to let her know one thing. “Um, Tiffany… I… I really can’t wait to see you at the concert!”
“Me neither! I’m so excited!”
“Well.. um… I… I love you, Tiffany.”
“Oh, Queenie, I love you too! You’re an awesome best friend! Really!” Tiffany gave Queenie one of her famous eye smiles.
Queenie just died on the inside. “No, I mean, I really love you, Tiffany. We should…”
Amir and Jara almost fainted. They both looked at each other and mouthed, “WHAT DID SHE SAY?!” They were ready to punch Tiffany.
“Wait, wait. Queenie. Wait. I… Did… Did I ever tell you…”
Queenie was too impatient for the rest of the sentence. She tried finishing the sentence for Tiffany. “THAT YOU LOVE ME TOO?!” she smiled excitedly.
Tiffany smiled back. Queenie couldn’t believe it.
“No. Did I ever tell you about TaeYeon? We’re going out now…”
Queenie really couldn’t believe it. “I.. no…”
Tiffany saw how hurt her friend was. “I’m sorry, Queenie. I thought you knew… I’m sorry, I have to go now. I’ll see you at the concert!” And she was gone.

Jara and Amir quickly rushed over to Queenie, both hoping they’d be able to comfort her.
“Move!” she spazzed out at them, “Don’t talk to me.”
Amir quickly replied, “But Master! You have a butler that’ll do anything for you! Don’t I make your life complete?”
Jara shoved Amir. “I’m a talking dog! WOOF! WOOF! Don’t I make your life complete?!”
Queenie sadly responded, “No. Tiffany just rejected me; my life will never be complete.”

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Notes:
- I think this sucked terrible balls. :X LOL.
- This chapter was better in my head. LOL.
- Chapter 4 will be about Luis and Derek? And the other family members’ll make an appearance. >:D weneedtohelptheemochildLOL.

CHAPTER 2: Keremel

“Thank you!” Jeremy exclaimed as headed out of the flower shop. “…seven…eight…nine. Perfect!” He rearranged the flowers and got into his sleek black Mercedes Benz. He laid the flowers gently down on the passenger seat, making sure that none of the petals get damaged. He revved the engine and headed home.
Jeremy is a young and intelligent young man, who knew every secret of getting a girl’s heart. Unlike his father, Steven, Jeremy knew better than to be a player; he’d never cheat on a girl. Jeremy’s a rich young man, and he’s not afraid to hide it. He likes to show off that he has the money, just to see how girls would react. Years ago, Jeremy met a girl named Kelly. She fell in love with Jeremy, not with his money. And this is why he’s so in love with her. They got married just a few weeks ago.

Jeremy steps out of his Mercedes Benz with the bouquet of flowers in his right hand, all nice and perfect; not a single damaged petal. He hides the flowers behind his back. He opens the front door of his home and is welcomed by his newlywed wife. “Oh, hi.” Kelly monotonously greeted her husband. Jeremy goes up to Kelly and softly kisses her neck. “Ewww, get away from me. I’m busy cleaning.” His wife shooed him away. “But KelKel!”
“Don’t call me that!”
“But Kelster!”
“No.”
“Kellybum!”
“NO.”
“Fine. Mrs. Jeremy!”
Kelly slapped Jeremy upside the head. It’s something she picked up from her mother, Tammy. As a child, she’d always witness her mother slap her husband, Steven, upside the head. Jeremy was quite used to it.

Jeremy got up right behind Kelly and caressed her waist with his left hand, with his right hand still behind his back. Right before Kelly could shoo her husband away once more, she was presented with a bouquet of flowers. “Wow! …seven…eight…nine. Nine roses? For me? Wait, what are these for? It’s not our anniversary and it’s not my birthday. It’s not a special day.” She grabbed the bouquet. The roses were arranged with eight white roses in a circle and one red rose in the middle. “Yes, sweetie,” Jeremy kisses his wife’s cheek, “it’s for you. Who else would it be for? And of course it is a special day, Kelly. Every day I spend with you is special.” Kelly smiled and hugged him. And then she looked at the beautiful roses and asked, “Why are there eight white roses and one red one in the middle?” Her husband smiled and explained, “Because you’re my innocent and pure angel. And you’re just full of love, which is why that red rose is in the middle. It represents true love.” Kelly immediately hugged Jeremy again and thanked him. She went and put all the roses in a vase. Jeremy told his wife, “Oh yeah. Just so you know, I will stop loving you when all of those roses die!” Kelly smiled and quickly frowned. “But roses live for a few days. Are you saying that you’re going to stop loving me in a few days?” Jeremy smiled. “I will never stop loving you, Kelly. I could never.”

***

Three days pass and Kelly noticed that all eight of the white roses wilted except for the red one. “Do red roses have a longer lifeline?” she asked herself. Jeremy got home and he had a large poster in his hand. “Welcome home, Jeremy.” “Thanks, sweetie.” Jeremy went over and kissed his wife on the forehead. Curious, Kelly quickly grabbed the poster from Jeremy’s hand and tried to open it up. “What’s this?”
“Oh, I just bought a poster to hang up in our living room. I thought it’d liven the room up a bit; it’s pretty bland.”
“What’s it a poster of?”
“Someone I’m sure you’d love to see every morning.”
“Who?! WHO?!” Kelly was impatient. She tried to open it up faster. She rolled it out. “SIWON?! CHOI SIWON?! WHAT THE HELL?!” She threw the poster on the floor and stomped on it. Her husband stood there laughing, about to collapse on the floor. “BURN IT, JEREMY, BURN IT!”
His laughter became too much for him and he’s now laughing silently, Jeremy picks up the poster off the floor. “I’m not burning this amazing poster!”
“I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME. IF YOU LOVE ME, BURN IT.”
“I told you: I will never stop loving you. Look at the red rose. It hasn’t died yet!”
Kelly turned and looked back at the rose. Again, she questions, “Yeah, why isn’t that rose dead? Do red roses have longer lives?”
Jeremy shrugged. “Nope. I just love you, that’s why.” And he hands her the poster.
Kelly grabbed the poster, rolled it up, and smacked her husband with it. “GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!”
Trying to defend himself from his violent wife, he slowly backs up. “But I love you!”
“You don’t love me!”
“I love you!”
“GET OUT!”
“Fine. I’ll get out. But I love you, KelKel, Kelster, Kellybum, Mrs. Jeremy!”
Kelly chucked the poster at her husband, but Jeremy closed the door. The poster hits the door and lands on the floor.

Kelly turns around and starts walking back to where the rose was. She hears a knock on the door. She ignores it.
“I LOVE YOU, $!”
Kelly grabs the red rose and cuts the stem with a knife. “DIE, YOU STUPID ROSE! DIE! DIE! DIE!” She tosses the rose on the floor and stomps on it. “DIE!” Frustrated, she picks up the rose and observes it. She quickly realized why the rose hadn’t wilted. “It’s fake.” she whispered. With the fake red rose in her hand, she runs to the front door. She rips the door open in frustration.

Jeremy wraps his arms around his wife. “I’m sorry, Kelly. I told you my love for you will never die. No matter how many times you cut the stems or stomp on my love.”
Kelly hugs Jeremy tighter. Jeremy tightens his hug as well. Kelly starts to sob.
“Baby, I’ll never let you go.” Jeremy whispered into his wife’s ear.
“Burn. That. Poster.” Kelly replied.
____________________________
Notes:
- Totally vomited while writing this. blahh blahhh. Too sappy and blahhh.
- Jeremy as a perfect gentleman? VOMIT. HAHAHA. KIDDING! SARANGHAEYO! ♥
- THIRD CHAPTER: Sir Butler Amir and Queenie. What’s that? BUTQUEEN? LOL. Sir ButQueen! Sir Ameenie. SIR A MEANIE. LOL. I don’t know. I’ll be more creative later.

I still think I fail trying to write a comedic and fun FF. ):

CHAPTER 1: Steamy

“Ugh! What time is it?!” Steven reached over for his cell phone that was on the small end table right next to his side of the bed. “Ahh, almost noon!” He tries to put the phone back on the table, but it slips off the edge and falls to the floor. Rolling over, Steven tries to pick up the phone. However, just when he realizes he rolled over a little too much, he lands on the floor with a hard thud. “AISHHH!”

“Steven, what are you doing?!” Someone was shouting from the computer room. “Nothing, Tammy! Just sit there and complain and continue browsing through the Soshified FanFics thread! Don’t worry about me!” Steven sarcastically replied to the shouting while rubbing his back. “Aigoo, will you get off the computer already? Aren’t we going to pick a concert to go to for our anniversary?”

Leaving the Soshified FanFics thread still up, Tammy opens up a new tab on the browser and starts looking through the list of concerts that were being held in the next few weeks. “Hmm… How about Super Junior’s concert?” Steven shook his head, “No. I’ll get a headache from the fangirls!”
“SHINee’s concert?”
“Are you nuts?! I am not letting my wife go watch Taemin and his bodyrolls and then having to bail you out when you get arrested!”
“Ugh. Fine, fine. 2PM?”
“No. I know how you feel about those boys!”
“They’re men, Steven. MEN.”
“NO. N.O.! NO!”
“Fine. Um. SNSD?”
“Yes! Yes! We will go to that concert!”
“But, sweetie, I know how you feel about those girls—”
“They’re women, Tammy. WOMEN. We’re going! WHEN IS IT?! WE’RE GOING?!”
“But—”
“Dammit, woman!” Steven shoves Tammy off the computer and purchases two tickets to the So Nyuh Shi Dae concert that’s being held next week. “Wow. How is it that this concert isn’t sold out yet?!”

Getting up from the floor, Tammy slaps Steven on the arm and the upside his head. “Don’t push me, hoe!” Steven turns and looks at his wife. “Did you just call me a hoe?” Tammy raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. And?” Steven turns the computer monitor off and gets up off the computer chair. “Let’s go out for ice cream?” “Oh, pfft!” Staring at her husband dead straight in the eyes, Tammy crosses her arms and taps her foot. “You pushed me and now you want ice cream?” Steven turns around and heads for the front door. Tammy mouths, “Ugh. This hoe.” And then catches up to her husband.

***

Quietly and nicely, both Steven and Tammy hold hands while walking to the ice cream shop. They took a detour to get there faster, but the detour consists of a vast grassy field. “Ugh, you know I hate this shortcut. All these freaking bugs!” Tammy said, swiping the bugs away from her. “I know. I hate the bugs too. Just like Tiffany.” Steven said with a smile on his face. “Pshh. You’d cheat on me with Tiffany?” Steven started envisioning naughty things in his head. “Nope. I’d cheat on you with Yuri, though. Those legs… her flat stomach… her backside… her—” Tammy slaps Steven across his face. “Oh really?” “No.” There was a long pause. “Maybe. I don’t know.” Steven smiled again.

As they continued to walk, Tammy noticed something rolling around in the grass. “What’s that?” Trying to show off, Steven immediately got into a ninja fighting stance. “Tammy, be careful. Back up. Let me handle this!” With courage, Steven walks closer to whatever it is in the grass.

“JONGHYUN! JONGHYUN!” a gorgeous, tall, slim brunette girl was screaming from behind. Tammy and Steven turned around. “Jonghyun! Where are you!” the girl continued to scream. “Excuse me, but have you seen my Jonghyun?!”

Steven looked at the girl. He stared into her enticing brown eyes. Stumbling over his words, he managed to ask, “Who’s Jonghyun?” The thing in the grass made some noise. “That!” the slim girl pointed to the thing in the grass. “That’s Jonghyun!” Jonghyun popped out of the grass. “Oh, hi, Yuri.” Jonghyun spoke. Not taking his eyes off of the girl, Steven asks, “Who’s that?” The girl replies, “Ahh, that’s my.. err… uh… teddy bear? He’s Jonghyun. Oh! And my name’s Yuri! Nice to meet you!” She sticks her hand out for a handshake. Quickly grabbing it and shaking it rapidly, Steven introduces himself and Tammy. “Hi, Yuri! Pleased to meet you! I’m Steven! This is Tammy!” Tammy smiles at Yuri and says, “Hi. I’m Steven’s w—” “She’s my sister. She’s here for a visit. She lives in another state. Again, it’s nice to meet you, Yuri!” Steven interrupted.

Tammy tried to kick Steven in the shin, but Steven dodged it. “So, Yuri, would you like to get some ice cream to celebrate your… finding your teddy bear?” Steven asked the gorgeous girl. “I would love some ice cream!” They started walking, completely ignoring Jonghyun and Tammy.

Tammy noticed Jonghyun resumed rolling around in the grass. “What are you doing, Jonghyun?” There was no response. “Errr… would you like ice cream, Jonghyun?” Again, there was no response. Finally, Jonghyun spoke. “Want to join me?” Tammy raised an eyebrow. “What? Join you in what? Rolling around in the grass?” Jonghyun nodded. Tammy was hesitant at first. “The hell?” But she joined Jonghyun.

***

Months later, Yuri gave birth to a baby boy she named Jeremy.
And Tammy gave birth to a baby girl. She never gave her daughter a name. She wanted to name her child “$,” but the doctors refused to put that on the papers. So growing up, Tammy’s daughter never had a name. Later on when her daughter got older, her daughter decided to give herself a name. She wanted to be called “Kelly”.

***

Years later, Jeremy and Kelly met each other and started dating.
And Tammy and Steven miraculously stayed together. Even when they knew they cheated on each other and had children… not with each other.

To this day, Steven and Tammy are still cool people. (:

____________________________________
NOTES:

Alright. Fail FF is fail. I tried to be comedic and not rated 19+. I obviously failed.
Next chapter, I will try harder. LOL. I just wanted a quick start on the FF.

Next chapter will be about KEREMEL! (: YAYYYY! LOL. That’ll be comedic and not 19+ either. BOOO.

Anywho, I made Jonghyun roll in the grass because of THIS:
http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l2gz68dSsE1qzllcoo1_500.png
So I hope this photo puts a little more sense into the whole story.
No? Yeah, okay. Fail FF is fail!